another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..
I don't love you - Pablo Neruda
I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz or arrow of carnations that propagate fire: I love you as certain dark things are loved, secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries hidden within itself the light of those flowers, and thanks to your love, darkly in my body lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where, I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving
But this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.
POSTED BY KIWI VERGARA AT 12:01 PM FROM SAN FRANSISCO, CA
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
thoughts
another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..
"The virtuous spirit has no need for thanks or approval... only the certain conviction that what has been done is right..."
thats something in my mind right now that I'm pondering on..
POSTED BY KIWI VERGARA AT 03:40 PM FROM SAN FRANSISCO, CA
"The virtuous spirit has no need for thanks or approval... only the certain conviction that what has been done is right..."
thats something in my mind right now that I'm pondering on..
POSTED BY KIWI VERGARA AT 03:40 PM FROM SAN FRANSISCO, CA
Thursday, January 04, 2007
realizations as of 2006
another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..
A lot as happened from the time I came here. The experience has been fullfilling to myself as I have realized stuff I never bothered to think about
1. Staying in a country away from home during the holidays made me miss all the good stuff I've been taking for granted in the Philippines. Like the weather for instance. Its so cold out here for cryin out loud.
2. I miss my family so much. I just found out recently that I sooo love them and that it took a trip a thousand mile caliber trip just to realize their worth.
3. I've gaind about a good 8 lbs more. putting them on was easy compared to the hassle of shedding them off when i get back home. Jon, back to the punching bag again and practicing the art of breaking bones on the ground(jiu jitsu) or so they call it.
4. "You" are a crappy liar. You heard me. C-R-A-P-P-Y. You're hiding something for me that you didn't say. You even had to take a second making up crap to say to me. That was a dead giveaway. I saw your eyes swell up while you were saying stuff to me. Theres nothing in this world thats worse as a liar ore even worse, a bad liar. Why can't you just tell me the truth? I know theres still something because you still cry about even the simplest things like them flowers i gave you.
5. My dad and mom are great people. I'm so proud of them even before but now, I'm even prouder. A lot of people even here in the states that have known them from even the time I wasn't born have been regarding them to the highest degree. I'm so lucky and blessed to have them for my parents. Sometimes it makes me, a battle hardened warrior in life shed tears for them because I miss them a lot. Makes me wonder how will I ever live up to the name. Anyways, cheers to you mom and dad.
6. I've gone a long way in my life. I've learned a lot and experienced even more. I guess it paid off with my unending pledge to myself to make myself even a much more better person today as compared to yesterday and an even more better person tomorrow and the days to come. Uncle Harold told me that I'm pretty much mature compared for a twenty four year old. I didn't expect it from him, an American senior at the age of 75. It felt nice to be appreciated especially from someone full of wisdom and knowledge of the makings of this world. Don't worry uncle Harold, I won't let you down. I now know myself and what I want to be. I'm gonna be alright.
7. People here in the states have been really good to me so I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I've been getting a lot of freebies so I figured that I pass the favor forward. I've taken the liberty of getting the people back at home with 'pasalubong' that costs a considerable amount of money. It wouldn't be fair if I hogged all the stuff and money all for myself.
8. I'm looking forward to meeting a lot of new people back at home. I've been practicing the art of "small talk" here. Americans are such a fan of it although they dont really know that they've been small talking a lot. I'm not so sure if it would work back at home since people there are pretty 'snub' about it as compared to Filipinoes here wherein they'ed drop a line as simple as "hello kababayan".
9. Its nice being friends with the family of your ex especially her dad. I never imagined I would fall in love with them in a short amount of time. The family has their own flaws but i guess thats the beauty of it. The challenge of setting aside differences and working together to hurdle past problems that they encounter. What would life be without the challenges? I've seen them smile, laugh and even to the point of tears. I miss them a lot. I guess they're the family I will never have...
10. Of course, I miss my friends back at home. Kudos to teta, rumors(mark,jasyon,johnny,arjay and jm), chris masami, franz, kuya leo patapat, sharon, jas, tabby, sarah, tinay,eric, sir romeo and sir noel, jb, sam, kris, tok, jun, mar, jay-r, ejie, pat, pau, franz, kd, chino, mon, bart, tin, nikki, jay-r patron, mico, jans, jj, jon-jon, jason, ec, dj, aubrey, cesca, rash, mark omega, carl, nydia,employees of phaethon inc, missa, nhel, cas, ken, and many more. you know who you are so dont be getting mad at me if i didn't mention your name. Thank you for making my life more meaningful. We'll see each other soon.
11. Looking forward to meeting a girl named georgia...
12. This is getting way too long..I better stop..
POSTED BY KIWI VERGARA AT 12:15 AM FROM TRACY, CA
A lot as happened from the time I came here. The experience has been fullfilling to myself as I have realized stuff I never bothered to think about
1. Staying in a country away from home during the holidays made me miss all the good stuff I've been taking for granted in the Philippines. Like the weather for instance. Its so cold out here for cryin out loud.
2. I miss my family so much. I just found out recently that I sooo love them and that it took a trip a thousand mile caliber trip just to realize their worth.
3. I've gaind about a good 8 lbs more. putting them on was easy compared to the hassle of shedding them off when i get back home. Jon, back to the punching bag again and practicing the art of breaking bones on the ground(jiu jitsu) or so they call it.
4. "You" are a crappy liar. You heard me. C-R-A-P-P-Y. You're hiding something for me that you didn't say. You even had to take a second making up crap to say to me. That was a dead giveaway. I saw your eyes swell up while you were saying stuff to me. Theres nothing in this world thats worse as a liar ore even worse, a bad liar. Why can't you just tell me the truth? I know theres still something because you still cry about even the simplest things like them flowers i gave you.
5. My dad and mom are great people. I'm so proud of them even before but now, I'm even prouder. A lot of people even here in the states that have known them from even the time I wasn't born have been regarding them to the highest degree. I'm so lucky and blessed to have them for my parents. Sometimes it makes me, a battle hardened warrior in life shed tears for them because I miss them a lot. Makes me wonder how will I ever live up to the name. Anyways, cheers to you mom and dad.
6. I've gone a long way in my life. I've learned a lot and experienced even more. I guess it paid off with my unending pledge to myself to make myself even a much more better person today as compared to yesterday and an even more better person tomorrow and the days to come. Uncle Harold told me that I'm pretty much mature compared for a twenty four year old. I didn't expect it from him, an American senior at the age of 75. It felt nice to be appreciated especially from someone full of wisdom and knowledge of the makings of this world. Don't worry uncle Harold, I won't let you down. I now know myself and what I want to be. I'm gonna be alright.
7. People here in the states have been really good to me so I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I've been getting a lot of freebies so I figured that I pass the favor forward. I've taken the liberty of getting the people back at home with 'pasalubong' that costs a considerable amount of money. It wouldn't be fair if I hogged all the stuff and money all for myself.
8. I'm looking forward to meeting a lot of new people back at home. I've been practicing the art of "small talk" here. Americans are such a fan of it although they dont really know that they've been small talking a lot. I'm not so sure if it would work back at home since people there are pretty 'snub' about it as compared to Filipinoes here wherein they'ed drop a line as simple as "hello kababayan".
9. Its nice being friends with the family of your ex especially her dad. I never imagined I would fall in love with them in a short amount of time. The family has their own flaws but i guess thats the beauty of it. The challenge of setting aside differences and working together to hurdle past problems that they encounter. What would life be without the challenges? I've seen them smile, laugh and even to the point of tears. I miss them a lot. I guess they're the family I will never have...
10. Of course, I miss my friends back at home. Kudos to teta, rumors(mark,jasyon,johnny,arjay and jm), chris masami, franz, kuya leo patapat, sharon, jas, tabby, sarah, tinay,eric, sir romeo and sir noel, jb, sam, kris, tok, jun, mar, jay-r, ejie, pat, pau, franz, kd, chino, mon, bart, tin, nikki, jay-r patron, mico, jans, jj, jon-jon, jason, ec, dj, aubrey, cesca, rash, mark omega, carl, nydia,employees of phaethon inc, missa, nhel, cas, ken, and many more. you know who you are so dont be getting mad at me if i didn't mention your name. Thank you for making my life more meaningful. We'll see each other soon.
11. Looking forward to meeting a girl named georgia...
12. This is getting way too long..I better stop..
POSTED BY KIWI VERGARA AT 12:15 AM FROM TRACY, CA
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Someday
another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..
this is what i want to feel maybe sometime in the next couple of weeks..still in the process of repairing myself..gotta move on..
Someday you're gonna realize
One day you'll see this though my eyes
By then I won't even be there
I'll be happy somewhere
Even if I cared I know you don't really see my worth
You think you're the best girl on earth
Well I've got news for you
I know I'm not that strong
But it won't take long
Won't take long
Someday someone's gonna love me
The way I wanted you to need me
Someday someone's gonna take your place
One day I'll forget about you
Someday someday
Right now I know you can tell I'm down and I'm not doing well
But one day these tears they will all run dry
I won't have to cry, sweet goodbye
POSTED BY KIWI VERGARA AT 11:18 AM FROM LOS ANGELES, CA
this is what i want to feel maybe sometime in the next couple of weeks..still in the process of repairing myself..gotta move on..
Someday you're gonna realize
One day you'll see this though my eyes
By then I won't even be there
I'll be happy somewhere
Even if I cared I know you don't really see my worth
You think you're the best girl on earth
Well I've got news for you
I know I'm not that strong
But it won't take long
Won't take long
Someday someone's gonna love me
The way I wanted you to need me
Someday someone's gonna take your place
One day I'll forget about you
Someday someday
Right now I know you can tell I'm down and I'm not doing well
But one day these tears they will all run dry
I won't have to cry, sweet goodbye
POSTED BY KIWI VERGARA AT 11:18 AM FROM LOS ANGELES, CA
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